I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
two words...techno handjob
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
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I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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