i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
