I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
