so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
