My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
