OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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