all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
