so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
