happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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