My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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