and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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