I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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