lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
