How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
