Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
