If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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