Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
