My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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