Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
