I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Randomize
