so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
