You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
