I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
