the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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