It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
