here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
