then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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