What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
