i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
