why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
