When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize