Is it because I queefed?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We have started to decorate penises.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
