i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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