My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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