the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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