New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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