I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
