the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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