I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
