Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
God, you're like boner-b-gone
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.