Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I pour the whiskey from now on