Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions