Will you blow on my dice?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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