she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
