'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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