Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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