I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
