Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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