I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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