he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Randomize
