you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
