I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
