I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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