I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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