You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
i've created a new STD.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
