watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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